Darren Wilson slightly in denial about his reputation in Ferguson.
Meanwhile at Darren Wilson’s hideout…
CENTENNIAL, Colo — In a shocking twist to the ever-changing twists that are shocking in the case, Aurora theater shooting suspect James Holmes has allegedly changed his race to Black and is suing the Aurora Police Department for racial profiling him on the night of the shooting. Holmes claims that he was merely standing at his car taking a breather, after having escaped from the theater, but because of his race the police assumed he was a thug and arrested him instead the actual perpetrator. Holmes is calling for all of his supporters to protest the arrest and demand his immediate release.
"It’s so hard being a black man in this society," claims Holmes, while donning blonde corn rolls. “They just want to see you fail and they violate your rights. My name has been smeared in the press. People think I have a small penis and that my pussy game was weak. Obviously, since I’m a black man, my penis is NOT small and I get more pussy than a veterinarian. Enough innocent black men are being tortured by this white-run society. It’s institutional racism, you know. They have these institutions and they’re racist and people get caught up and institutionalized and then shit gets all fucked up and it’s weird. Then you got white privilege just running rampant. Like, I mean….my best friend, who is black as well, gets followed around the liquor store and I didn’t and that was racist. So I decided to make a change. This is the real me. And according to the police reports, a cracker did the shooting and as you can see, with these CORNROWS, not corn rolls, dude, you might wanna edit that, I am 100% black as hell. It’s no biggie, though. I mean, cops do make mistakes. All I ask is just for them to set a niggie free”
Holmes’ racial conversion has sparked outrage from loud-mouthed self-proclaimed leaders of the black community.
"It’s appalling!" Cried some angry black dude. "He usin white privilege to get outta jail. I mean….how dare he, you know what I’m sayin? The nerve of this fool to pull the race card! I mean…damn! Shit. Fuck. It’s wrong, bruh. Uh-uh. That’s like….really fucked up, my man. No. Like…I seent him in the courtroom with like blonde braids and shit. I mean, the fuck is that? I mean, they looked good and all, I mean who ever done did ‘em is talented but still, I mean…you can’t accumulate, accompensate- acc, um…yeah, acculturate my culture for yo benefit like that. It’s mad wrong, bruh. Mad wrong."
Regardless, a small group of protesters has in fact invaded the Arapahoe County Jail, chanting “Set a niggie free! Set a niggie free!” Unfortunately none of them wanted to comment other than screaming “The media is POISON! You will not twist my words, FOX NEWS!” all while dressed in Bob Marley t-shirts, tie-dye jeggings and yellow crocs. The thick cloud of marijuana smoke also made it difficult to actually see the protestors.
We have received word that Holmes’ lawyers are filing a motion for case dismissal, seeing as how Holmes’ new race is in direct conflict with what was written in the police report.
"After all of the stalling and carefully planned delays, I think we may finally have a winner!" said a member of the defense team who asked to remain anonymous.
occultleviathanism asked: About time someone starts putting the truth out there I am sick and tired of folks running around misinformed about things!
Yeah, like, racism ended back when that black chick kissed Captain Kirk in Star Trek. Get over it, niggies.
Anonymous asked: when will you write jimmy fanfics again? :(
I didn’t think anyone liked those, lol. The one with Tj Lane got way more notes, which is sad as hell. But he did die in that one, so I can’t be too upset over it.
That was quite possibly the weirdest “anti-circumcision” song I’ve ever heard…
Anonymous asked: You should use some gifs from die antwoords "evil boy" for your jimmyshops because of the amount of huge dicks in thw video
Will do. Thanks for the tip!
Jimmy on his way to the protest
Wow…you can really see how off the colors are on some of these shops on mobile…
Anonymous asked: Luv u